Wait For Love
by anne01
Summary: “I’ll wait, will you?” SN centric
1. Prelude To A Kiss

**A/N : **So it has been awhile since i've been inspired to write a fic but i've recently gotten hooked to the show and so I thought i'd give it a shot. Based on the song by Matt White - Wait for Love. Please read and review, feedback is more than welcome! Enjoy! x

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**Chapter 1****: Prelude ****To**** A Kiss**

Nate

_"I'll wait, will you?" _

Exhausted I collapsed on my bed, closing my eyes and rubbing my temples, trying to get that memory out of my head. The way she had looked at me when I said those words; shaking her head, her voice saying one thing but her eyes another. We had been friends for so long, I knew her better than anyone, I knew she hadn't meant what she'd said.

Obviously I didn't know her at all because the next thing I knew, she was gone. No explanations, no goodbyes.

What else was I meant to do but try to move on? Pretend like nothing happened. Pretend that I hadn't put my heart on the table and had it ripped apart. I had to get over her. But even as time passed, deep down I knew I was still waiting. Waiting for what, I didn't know anymore. Waiting for the impossible.

Blair and I were destined to be together. The perfect couple; the eventual union was a given. I knew I was lucky to have someone love me and trust me completely, but it didn't make me feel any better. If anything I felt guilty for having that, undeservedly. I loved her. But I wasn't _in_ love with her. She was like the little sister I never had, the girl I would do anything to protect. She deserved better but I didn't have the courage to let her go, to be alone. Not since she left.

Fate had a funny way of messing with us. There would be no heartache in this world if the person we loved, loved us back; if we were programmed to share that unconditional love with one person and one person only. No complicated love triangles, no regrets, just smooth sailing and a lifetime of happiness. But it was never that easy.

And now she was back.

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Serena

_"I didn't come back for you!" _

Even now, the words sounded so cold. The hurt in his eyes, the way his body recoiled as I yelled those words.

I hated what we had become. I kept telling myself that it had been a mistake; the night at the wedding. But how long could I lie to myself? If it had just been a mistake, if I felt absolutely nothing for Nate, then why did I feel like this? Why did staying away, keeping my best friend happy, make me feel nothing but pain? Our roles in life had been etched in stone a long time before we were born and never did the happy ending involve a future for Nate and I, together.

Back then, I had no choice but to get away. Free my mind of those eyes, that smile, his touch. How that had backfired. If anything, boarding school had only made things worse. With no resolution, he was all I could think about before the guilt seeped in and I thought of Blair and her faith in us.

Now that I was back I had no choice but to make amends. I couldn't forget all the reasons I needed to get away in the first place. I wanted to be a better person. The past was the past.

This was my new beginning.


	2. Easier To Lie

**A/N: **Thanks so much for the reviews :) They were much appreciated and got me off my ass to finish this chapter which I must admit I struggled with Serena's POV. Anyway there will hopefully be more character interaction from here on in just needed to set the scene! Enjoy! x

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**Chapter 2: Easier To Lie**

Nate

As the saying goes, when it rains, it pours.

If dealing with my dad and the drugs wasn't enough, the indictment had to follow and our family was truly falling apart. Amongst all this of course was the Blair issue which was the only shadow of relief I had felt in the last few weeks but as usual family loyalty came first and now things were more complicated than ever.

The biggest problem with having your fate written in the stars from a young age is the burden of carrying your family's hopes, dreams and future. Knowing that I could help my dad just by putting my heart in the hands of Blair was driving me crazy. It was like a game of tug and war between my heart and my head. My heart wanted to let go, to finally be free, springing hope that I could finally have what I had wanted for so long, or at least try. My head knew I had to stop acting like a spoilt brat and finally take some responsibility for my actions, or rather my father's actions.

It wasn't like what was being asked of me was the worst thing in the world. Blair was a beautiful girl, she adored me and we had a past, it would be so easy to have a future. Plus she was Serena's best friend and that was one line Serena was not willing to cross again, since she'd come back she had made this perfectly clear. She pushed me away; she blatantly avoided me and worst of all those public displays of affection with that Humphrey kid, what was the point of me throwing everything away in hope that all of a sudden she would see the light and be able to get past everything that had previously held us back?

Despite seemingly having nothing to gain, all I wanted to do was run. To run as far away from my family, from Blair, from everything the Upper East Side was to me. Though at the end of the day there was only one person I pictured by my side.

I couldn't go to her party. I couldn't give her the ring. I hadn't been asked to commit a crime for my family, but I had been asked to give up everything that I wanted, everything I could be. With everything that was already happening, I was not ready to lose anything else.

It wasn't fair to me and it wasn't fair to Blair.

As the saying goes, when one door closes, another one opens.

_"__Jenny! ... __Do you want to go take a walk, or something?"_

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Serena

_"We broke up, ok!" _

Peering into the room Blair had isolated herself in, I froze at the sight before me. Blair and Chuck? Chuck and Blair? All I wanted to do was run in there and drag her away from _that_. What was she thinking? I understood that it was so easy to just run into the arms of the first person who showed you attention after a breakup, but Chuck Bass? Everyone knew his reputation, everyone who was anyone knew to stay away.

It had been a challenge picking up the pieces when I came home. The betrayals, the hurt and pain I had caused, the old Serena had a lot to make up for. But I had done it, I had done everything in my power to be a better person. In the past few weeks things with my mum had improved, you could even say they were good, I was in a healthy relationship with a guy who I absolutely adored and most importantly, I had regained the trust and friendship of my best friend. For all this, sacrifices had to be made, or rather Nate had to be sacrificed. Blair loved Nate. It had been worth it, hadn't it? I was happy.

Then, the breakup.

Hearing about the breakup, my heart had stopped. Seeing Blair and Chuck together, despite the initial revulsion, I hated to admit that I felt hope. The possibility that Blair could move on, maybe one day be okay with Nate and me together... but then the guilt had kicked in. 5 minutes after they break up and I try to make my move? She was my best friend. I had Dan. But why did I have to keep reminding myself of that?

All at once everything I knew was falling apart. Again.


	3. Sideways

**A/N: **Again, thanks for the reviews/adding this story to your favourites. I'm so glad you're reading and hopefully enjoying:) So far I'd kept things in line with the tv series but now it's time for us to part ways as I really didn't like how easily Nate went back to Blair despite supposedly being so smitten with Serena! As much as I adore Blair, things can't be that easy. :P I honestly don't know where I'm going with this I'm afraid, but I hope you'll stick around for the ride! Feedback more than welcome! x

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**Chapter 3: Sideways**

Nate

Restlessly pacing Chuck's suite I called him for what felt like the hundredth time. Where the hell was he? I felt like I had no one else to talk to and I knew he of all people would understand and be reassuring about my decision to stay away from Blair's party, to not sacrifice myself even if it was to keep my family's reputation from completely collapsing. Chuck was not a one lady man. He had never understood why I stayed with Blair for so long, especially as I'd never been able to _'__seal__ the deal'_. He thought it was a waste of our youth to fall in love and get trapped in a relationship. As much as I didn't agree, I needed someone to make me feel better about all this.

Checking the time, I sighed. I'd been waiting in his room for over 2 hours now. Chuck had either left his room at an insanely early hour or had never made it home last night. Either way, the girl he was with must have been worth it as Chuck was never one to hang around, I smirked.

So much for my great escape from home; if anyone knew how to take one's mind of things it was Chuck. I didn't know where else to go. The girl I loved refused to see me. The girl who loved me, I had left behind. And now my best friend had gone missing. I quickly realised how small my world was, how quickly everything could just dissipate. Suddenly I was feeling claustrophobic; I needed to get some air. I needed to get out of here.

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Serena

Hair dishevelled and a frown on his face I saw Nate approaching as I entered the Palace courtyard. With his head down, he seemed unaware of his surroundings and had not noticed me. It would have been so easy to walk on past and not cause any further complications but I couldn't help myself, he just looked so sad. I couldn't help but remember the fear in his eyes when he'd come to see me worried about the drugs he'd found at his home; I couldn't help remembering that he used to be one of my best friends.

"Nate, hey earth to Nate!" I called with a little wave.

As he looked up, I immediately regretted my decision to break into his little world. It had felt like so long since those piercing blue eyes had locked onto mine and my heart skipped a beat as his face broke into a smile. Why did I put myself into these situations, making things harder for myself?

Quickly tearing my gaze away I forced myself to remember Dan's trusting brown eyes, his soft lips as he kissed me goodbye after our breakfast date just half an hour ago.

"Serena, hey. You look amazing," he paused as I felt my cheeks reddening, self consciously wrapping my jacket tighter around me, "I mean, I didn't expect to run into you, honestly. I was just waiting for Chuck..."

At the mention of Chuck I felt sick; hearing that he hadn't made it home and was most likely wrapped around Blair at this moment was too repulsive to even think about ever, let alone this early in the morning. Karma was cruel, was this the punishment fate delivered for the crime Nate and I committed?

As Nate spoke, I looked pitifully at him. He had no idea what was going on.

"Hey, you ok Serena?"

Shaking my head I laughed nervously, "Yeah sorry Nate, I should be asking you that. Are you alright?"

"Yeah," he replied without conviction, "Actually, no... I think I'm as far from alright as humanly possible. You wanna grab some food or something? Am I allowed to ask you that?"

Hesitating I bit my lip, my mind racing. Thoughts of Dan, Blair and Chuck running on repeat through my head. I had to stay strong.

"Actually, I just ate... with Dan," I said apologetically, but my willpower collapsed as I watched his smile fade and his shoulders drop.

Tapping my side anxiously I took a deep breath. I was doing nothing wrong.

"How about I just watch you eat? I can never have enough coffee," I joked lightly.

Nodding, that smile returned to his face and I breathed easy again, "Thank you Serena."

Shoulders bumping gently, I tried to ignore the goose bumps that spread over me from his touch and the feeling of pure comfort from being by his side. I had missed this. Nothing this right could be so wrong, could it?

We weren't doing anything wrong.


	4. Hate Every Beautiful Day

**A/N: **Sorry it's been awhile between updates! I have been away and was struggling with this chapter. Thanks for being so patient and adding your kind reviews! Hopefully you'll continue to enjoy the story! X

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**Chapter 4: Hate Every Beautiful Day**

Nate

Passing the waitress my menu, I took the opportunity to watch Serena as she fidgeted anxiously, her blue eyes skittish as she avoided looking straight back at me. She was as breathtaking as ever. Her blonde hair messily scooped up, a light blush spreading over her cheeks as the warmth of the cafe hit us. She was so carefree, so unlike the rest of us; not giving a damn about appearances or gossip, her rebellion against what everything living on the Upper East Side stood for.

This was the first time since she'd been back that I had been able to sit there and really just take her in. The last time I had been this close to her, in her hotel room, I had been so stressed about finding my dad's drugs, so scared that my life was falling apart that I had almost forgotten the effect she had on me. With her, given time, all else just seemed to fade away. I guess you could say it was gift. No one could spend time with her without falling under her spell; mesmerised, consumed even, by her heart and the tenderness she brought with every word, look, touch.

An uncomfortable silence filled the air between us as she continued to avoid my gaze. I wondered if it was always going to be like this between us, I wondered if maybe I should just give up right now. Tapping my fingers on the table I searched my brain for an icebreaker, something, anything to bring me hope that my quest wasn't a lost cause. I needed to know that spark was still there.

As always, Serena delivered.

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Serena

Feeling awkward and counting down the minutes till the meal was over and I could make my escape, I was suddenly overcome by a fit of hysterics. It was the tapping that triggered it, the continuous offbeat rhythm. Biting my lower lip I looked down trying to hold in the laughter that threatened to overwhelm me but it was hopeless and soon I couldn't control myself.

Taken aback, I saw the confusion and perhaps even slight fear passing across Nate's face as he looked around checking to see if anyone else was watching my outburst.

"Are you alright?" He asked slowly, touching my hand gently.

Gasping for air I struggled to get any coherent words out, "Drums... "

Back when we were kids, Nate had gone through the drummer boy stage. Yes, the bad ass, kick ass, spiked hair phase. However, he soon came to realise a slight glitch in his grand plans of rock and roll glory. This being that there was no one less bad ass, less rock material and with less rhythm in their soul than Nathanial Archibald. As popular as he was, no one and I mean no one, wanted to jam with him because he just could not keep a beat!

"Hey," he began defensively, "I wasn't that bad... it's not an easy instrument to play and..."

Finally meeting his eyes, I shook my head before he finally raised both hands in mock surrender.

"Alright, I give up. Let's just call a truce and agree that I was a misunderstood artist. The world just wasn't ready for me!"

Rolling my eyes, the giggles continued and soon Nate was laughing with me. It felt good. It felt like the old times. I felt like everything was going to be okay.

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Blair

Buried amidst my thoughts I strode a few steps ahead of Chuck, not wanting people to notice us together. I mean, what would they think? Everybody knew to steer clear of Chuck Bass. A surefire way of killing one's standing in the Upper East Side was to hook up with him; it was a clear sign of bad taste and desperation and neither of these had ever been used to describe Blair Waldorf, and if I had my way, never would be.

"What's the hurry sweetheart?" he purred reaching out for my hand.

Swiftly pulling it away, my mind went into overdrive. I had to make a clean break from him but at the same time I couldn't help but remember his kisses, those hands all over my body. As much as I hated him there was no denying that he knew how to please me. He took my mind away from Nate, I had never felt as sexy with Nate. Nate had never wanted me the way Chuck did. But it wasn't Chuck's body against mine that I craved. Nate would be mine again if it was the last thing I did. We were made for each other, nothing could come between destiny, and our stars had been aligned from the moment we laid eyes on each other.

"Look Chuck, we get our caffeine fix and then you have to leave me alone," I hissed curtly at him, "This is not a permanent pairing. You catch me when I'm vulnerable, that's it. There's nothing there. So kill those butterflies and move on. Nate and I aren't done yet."

Squealing as he grabbed me and took hold of my face to meet his gaze, I tried to pull away but he held me firmly, leaning in and murmuring, "Stop living in your dream world Blair, you think Nate will want you now? Your innocence is no longer there for him to own. There's nothing else he wants from you. You have to be kidding if you think he's going to come crawling back to you."

Furious I opened my mouth to respond but he quickly covered mine with his. Pulling away, he turned my head to the cafe window beside us as I recovered from our kiss, before strutting away smugly, "You and Nate are more than over queen Bee."

Frozen, I watched my worst nightmare unfolding before me. Knees touching, there sat Serena and Nate, talking, laughing, sharing a meal, looking so comfortable in their gestures, their looks, the way I had always hoped Nate and I looked to outsiders; the world's greatest and most beautiful couple.

My heart ached from their happiness and I couldn't stand it any longer. How could they do this to me? When did I become the odd one out in our wonderful trio? How did I end up with the scum of the Upper East Side; a Bass?

Spinning round, I ran away tears filling my eyes. I had to get home. No way was I going to let my guard down in public. Anger and adrenalin surged through me as I jumped into the nearest cab.

Waldorf's did not get pushed aside so easily, we always won. We seeked only revenge, not sympathy.


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